I once read a book called "Zen and the Art of Motor Cycle Maintenance" - I can't remember a single thing about it unless there is one small detail I recall about having a left and right side of your brain that helps in some way in life. Anyway, the reason for reading this small work of art was to improve my target pistol shooting in some measure that would take me from club and county level to perhaps County and Country level followed by Country and International level. Well, it didn't work for me. However, in recent years I have been studying "Football Premier League Managers" to see if they could be utilised in some form of self help group as Hypnotherapy practitioners. Now why would they be useful in that respect I hear you screaming (I am slightly deaf remember so scream louder if you can). I am not sure if I am being fair now when I state that almost all the Premier League Managers that come on TV to talk about their latest success or failure all do so in the same monotonous drone whether the news they are passing on is brilliantly good or devastatingly bad. I have had to conclude from this that they are actually attempting to hypnotise their entire fan base so that the hapless manager can keep his job and the that the rest of us have been tricked into thinking we like football!
Now to my untrained non-football supporting or even interested ear is that Alex Ferguson (I don't bother with the "Sir" bit), Avram Grant, Arsen Venger, Rafael Benítez and at least 20 more all speak in the same dull monotone and are only barely identifiable by their own particular national (aka foreign) dialect.
The fact is that once they have cleared the TV screen I look at the nearest clock and bingo, I realise that I have been out of it for 2 hours and for some reason, until I bang my head on the wall, have have a passion for the "beautiful game" (whatever that means?).
I expect all you avid "footie" (another word I have gained through hypnosis) fans will be foaming at the mouth and gnashing your teeth at my heretic thoughts and comments on your passion (when did football take over from sex?). Please, save your breath on anonymous phone calls, horses heads, letter bombs, letters packed with anthrax and the like as I am too old to be bothered with any offence caused.
I do believe that when these hypnotic managers come on TV they all have some key word or phrase that they utter, usually on a Sunday morning on News 24 or some other meandering Weekend news programme. The moment they utter this particular trigger and having received some subliminal instruction from them , I imagine myself and thousands of others leaping out of bed naked, darting down the stairs to peel and eat a raw onion and then rushing out into the street to perform a David Brent style dance before returning to bed. Later coming out of the hypnotic state that "Sir" Alex put me in and worse still being none the wiser and I wonder why I am getting odd looks from the neighbours!
Perhaps I will give the Sunday news a miss from now on, anyone for a game of footie?
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Wednesday, 2 December 2009
Tuesday, 10 November 2009
A confused Society?
There was a programme on Channel 4 Television entitled "The Execution of Gary Glitter" which was described in Channel 4's own words as follows:
"Set in an imaginary Britain in which the death penalty has been re-introduced, this feature-length drama confronts viewers with the possible consequences of capital punishment in the UK"
Fortunately the last executions, by hanging, took place in 1964, prior to capital punishment in Great Britain being abolished for murder in 1964 and in Northern Ireland in1969.
However, there are many people in this land of ours who cry out for a "return to the death penalty" for everything from murder, paedophilia and treason. Yet these same people scream in outrage at the "barbaric Moslems" for executing their own murderers, paedophiles and traitors. Having said that it is also possible to see this seemingly growing band of latter day Cromwellian Levellers also ranting when some of todays "modern controversial comedians" upset them with a "sick joke" that they themselves would have no trouble telling themselves if some "less deserving" case was the target of their particular rage.
It seems that minorities, the less advantaged or the defenceless are "fair game" to this confused society of ours as long as, and I have no problem with this myself, soldiers (unless they are officers), police officers, fire-fighters, ambulance crew or "have a go heroes". So while TV personalities insult the Monarch and the looks of young international swimmers they suffer near apoplexy that Jimmy Carr should make a somewhat tasteless joke about some of our wounded soldiers. Needless to say this particular joke may have originated from these brave men but don't let a "civvie" dare repeat it!
I have watched anti European rants about Human Rights and the interference of "the ******* EU" but then I see that these same critics have no problem demanding parity and a switch to the Euro or that there is a better health service there or that we are so far behind Europe.
Sorry, lets get back to the Death Penalty.
I for one do not support the return to the death penalty mainly due to the possibility that some of the "levellers" I mention above could indeed be in the Jury and also that no Court, Judge or Jury is infallible. Mistakes happen!! Police evidence can be flawed, witnesses either unreliable or indeed corrupt all of which could lead to some unfortunate defendent dangling on the end of a hangman's rope.
Lets look at some of the reasons there is a desire to execute people; revenge, punishment or deterrent. To be honest I don't have a clue which reason is more compelling but there again I suppose that is because I fundamentally disagree with the death penalty given that there is no evidence whatsoever that it is actually effective as a deterrent. As far as I know, there were no fewer murders (I omit treason or military executions) in the 50 years leading up to 1945 than there have been in the 50 years since. There was some anecdotal evidence I once read about that suggested that the crime of murder did in fact increase in Britain for period that the American Army was here in large numbers leading up to D Day 1944.
So, lets just assume that we have had the same number of murders since 1945 without a death penalty the fact is that there were NO more during the period there was a death penalty so in my mind it has no effect on society other than too provide some form of judicial yet barbaric act revenge. This of course would leave us no better than the so called barbaric nations of the world at large.
I lifted this little matrix from a source on the internet but it serves to illustrate my case.
Should the death penalty be a banned form of punishment?
|
|
For me this is enough to justify in my mind that any return to the death penalty would be an enormous backward step in our tolerant British society and also make us little better than some of the more lawless regimes in this world today.
But a word to the proponents of this, look hard at what you write and what you wish for in this life. Think twice before condemning Islam while demanding a return to a death penalty here. Think about voicing violent thoughts to people who you disagree with yet cry foul when violence is perpetrated on someone else.
Oh, and on a lighter note make sure your spelling and grammar is as correct when you write this stuff down as it is widely read!
(Apologies for any speeling or grarmatical errorrs i may have maid.)
Ultrasound - Ultra Fast!
Without wishing to give the impression that I am not still the towering, stunningly attractive, tanned granite jawed hunk , former male model and Commando that you always knew I was, I have to tell you about my "frozen shoulder".
OK, I can hear the collective moan from as far a field as Outer Mongolia because I have been moaning about this shoulder for so many months now even I am bored with it. I have made several attempts to gain a cure, have been prodded and probed and injected with steroids as well as vast quantities of anti inflammatory drugs, that gave me mouth ulcers and the pain will still not go!
However, help is on the horizon now that I have had an ultrasound scan to accompany my X-Rays and will be seeing the Physiotherapist at the end of the month for some treatment and hopefully a cure.
For those of you who are familiar with the condition (Frozen Shoulder, Rotator Cuff Injury, adhesive capsulitis or whatever you want to call it, it is really really painful!!! It hurts so much sometimes that you cannot help but cry out or if asleep, wake with a gasp.
What is such as shame is that this process has been taking so long with me setting off to the doctor with it back in April. There are people (doctors among them) that say "Oh leave it for a year or two and it will get better on its own". Good old them, they clearly don't have the pain.
Now to add insult to injury Mrs H has the same condition but in her left shoulder whereas mine is my right so our sleeping arrangements are often compromised by us accidentally bumping the affected limb and making the other wake up in unexpected pain.
I look forward to my treatment.... will I be able to type again?
OK, I can hear the collective moan from as far a field as Outer Mongolia because I have been moaning about this shoulder for so many months now even I am bored with it. I have made several attempts to gain a cure, have been prodded and probed and injected with steroids as well as vast quantities of anti inflammatory drugs, that gave me mouth ulcers and the pain will still not go!
However, help is on the horizon now that I have had an ultrasound scan to accompany my X-Rays and will be seeing the Physiotherapist at the end of the month for some treatment and hopefully a cure.
For those of you who are familiar with the condition (Frozen Shoulder, Rotator Cuff Injury, adhesive capsulitis or whatever you want to call it, it is really really painful!!! It hurts so much sometimes that you cannot help but cry out or if asleep, wake with a gasp.
What is such as shame is that this process has been taking so long with me setting off to the doctor with it back in April. There are people (doctors among them) that say "Oh leave it for a year or two and it will get better on its own". Good old them, they clearly don't have the pain.
Now to add insult to injury Mrs H has the same condition but in her left shoulder whereas mine is my right so our sleeping arrangements are often compromised by us accidentally bumping the affected limb and making the other wake up in unexpected pain.
I look forward to my treatment.... will I be able to type again?
Sunday, 1 November 2009
A day at a Mall..............
The Dead Sea Scrolls
Recently we decided that we would have to venture out of Sussex and go to Hampshire for a day and not only that, we would go to Southampton! So armed with passports, photographic ID in the form of Driving Licence and Bus pass, a first aid kit and survival pack to see us through the day and special rations.... OK, I exaggerate. We just went!
May be on your last, possibly enforced, excursion to the local and usually very large shopping mall you or your partner were accosted by one of those very enthusiastic and excited sales people asking if you had tried their range of cosmetics from the Dead Sea? No? Well we have on many more occasions than I can count on both two hands and these are hands that have been liberally drenched in their miracle product. Our particular wasted journey was to see if we could replace some broken tumblers and get some place mats that did not have edges that always inevitably caught the edge of our sleeves and sent showers of water or wine all over the place. I am sad to say that we managed to achieve neither objective but of course I managed to make some observations.
Back to our Dead Sea sales people then. It seem that at every shopping mall we have been to we inevitably meet a group of young Israeli sales people offering us these Dead Sea products which I have now managed to prevent the already smooth skinned and handed Mrs H from being snared by these ruthless young people with their slick patter. I fear that if I had not developed the ability to wrench her away at the same time telling the would be cosmetics person that we already posses all manner of unctions, ointments, potions and vats of asses milk to fill up the Dead Sea several times over.
Inner Space
After this futile visit to the West Quay shopping centre in Southampton we realised that we were both hungry and thirty and as Pret et Manger was close at hand we would dash in and grab a drink and sandwich. Having made our purchases we set off to sit down at one of the few spaces where there were seat for the two of us and seeing a row of three in a window we followed a woman to the seats expecting her to sit at one of other of the free ends thus leaving two seats together for us to sit. How wrong could we be! The cretin of a woman, no doubt suffering from some sort of rare OCD that prevented her sitting near anyone else to eat her sloppy sandwich and healthy fruit drink, sat sat right down in the middle of the three seats. (This rather reminded me of the joke men share about "toilet etiquette" - Men will understand this reference). She effected not to notice her act of pure evil or indeed not even to notice our presence at all in any way. In the event we had to occupy two seats that were fortunately vacated just as we were deliberating where else to sit ( I however was deliberating on how I could exact some kind of evil revenge of this gormless woman).
Recently we decided that we would have to venture out of Sussex and go to Hampshire for a day and not only that, we would go to Southampton! So armed with passports, photographic ID in the form of Driving Licence and Bus pass, a first aid kit and survival pack to see us through the day and special rations.... OK, I exaggerate. We just went!
May be on your last, possibly enforced, excursion to the local and usually very large shopping mall you or your partner were accosted by one of those very enthusiastic and excited sales people asking if you had tried their range of cosmetics from the Dead Sea? No? Well we have on many more occasions than I can count on both two hands and these are hands that have been liberally drenched in their miracle product. Our particular wasted journey was to see if we could replace some broken tumblers and get some place mats that did not have edges that always inevitably caught the edge of our sleeves and sent showers of water or wine all over the place. I am sad to say that we managed to achieve neither objective but of course I managed to make some observations.
Back to our Dead Sea sales people then. It seem that at every shopping mall we have been to we inevitably meet a group of young Israeli sales people offering us these Dead Sea products which I have now managed to prevent the already smooth skinned and handed Mrs H from being snared by these ruthless young people with their slick patter. I fear that if I had not developed the ability to wrench her away at the same time telling the would be cosmetics person that we already posses all manner of unctions, ointments, potions and vats of asses milk to fill up the Dead Sea several times over.
Inner Space
After this futile visit to the West Quay shopping centre in Southampton we realised that we were both hungry and thirty and as Pret et Manger was close at hand we would dash in and grab a drink and sandwich. Having made our purchases we set off to sit down at one of the few spaces where there were seat for the two of us and seeing a row of three in a window we followed a woman to the seats expecting her to sit at one of other of the free ends thus leaving two seats together for us to sit. How wrong could we be! The cretin of a woman, no doubt suffering from some sort of rare OCD that prevented her sitting near anyone else to eat her sloppy sandwich and healthy fruit drink, sat sat right down in the middle of the three seats. (This rather reminded me of the joke men share about "toilet etiquette" - Men will understand this reference). She effected not to notice her act of pure evil or indeed not even to notice our presence at all in any way. In the event we had to occupy two seats that were fortunately vacated just as we were deliberating where else to sit ( I however was deliberating on how I could exact some kind of evil revenge of this gormless woman).
By way of recompense I treated myself to a raspberry Krispy Kreme doughnut!
Saturday, 31 October 2009
Buxom Vixens?
Heavens only knows what happened to my hand writing skills in the last few years to make the reading of my notes such a revelation. I used to have what I always thought was, a good hand, it was neat, legible and had a degree of style (well I am entitled to an opinion after all). So last night when I picked up my notebook of "blogging thoughts" I was confronted by a list of scrawled hieroglyphics that even to my own eye I was having some difficulty recalling what I had actually noted down.
Here I list the three items in question, ready for this?
OK, I bet the CIA, MI5 [and six], the FBI and all the other agencies in the world would never get this list sorted out particularly as I wrote it and even I didn't know what I had meant in my mental state when ever it was I created this masterpiece of nonsense! After some deliberation I saw the light! I actually knew what is was I had meant and I had turned on the road to Damascus! I was not thinking about the darker regions of the internet or the local burlesque dancer or even an episode of kids TV from the 80's but the reference to the FBI got me back in touch with reality, well my reality that is. It all translated as the now obvious list below shows:-
Buena Vista Social Club - Portsmouth Guildhall
We bought tickets for this event at what seemed like hugely inflated prices but in our view well worth the money and set off for the Guildhall in Portsmouth not really expecting to find the throngs that were descending on the venue to see this remarkable Cuban band.
However, all was not to be that easy as we had to estimate the duration of the concert and pay, on a Sunday, for the car park. This in itself would have been easy had the place been better lit, fewer people trying to pay by mobile phone and not knowing what the hell they were doing and the general chaos that was the act of parking ones car. Overcoming that and forking out £5 was achieved and we set off to take our seats in the stalls.
What a night we had of excellent music and singing from these legends of music. I particularly liked the gyrations of the buxom young singer who accompanied the band (there you see, I was close in my choice of notes!!)
Bus Pass
Last week we used our free bus passes for the first time up until when I had vowed that I would never need it, had no intention of using buses with all those old people or with all those kids and sick people. So I was wrong, OK??
We booked our car in for a repair which was in response to the vast array of warning light that lit up my dashboard on leaving the car park after our Buena Vista night. Normally on these visits to the garage we borrow the firms van and take it down to Petersfield where we leave it prominently advertising LMK Vehicle Service Centre. But on this occasion we decided that as a bus stopped right outside the Hampshire Hog pub just next to LMK we would take the bus and christen our passes.
Great, the bus turned up almost on time and we set off for the 10 minute trip into Petersfield on a bus entirely occupied by pensioners, my first "enemy". A good number seemed to be suffering from all sorts of coughs and colds and provided fuel for my other phobia, "sick people" all that was missing were children so I was OK there.
We had a pleasant few hours in town, bought a large sweeping broom, had a good lunch and set off back to the garage by bus once more. But this time we didn't know where the stop was for our garage. We soon discovered that we had to alight at the Queen Elizabeth Country Park and make our way to the opposite side of the A3 which of course comprises four lanes of very fast moving traffic and no foot bridge. After some animated debate about which direction to take once we had been tossed off the bus in the middle of no where we eventually agreed to take the road way from our destination (my brain was working overtime by now) and make our way under the A3 and then walk back on the opposite side of the road to the Hampshire Hog once more. After what seemed like an hour and 50 mile hike we had encountered some lovely countryside, a small deer bounding out of a hedge in front of us and close encounters with some very fast moving cars. But we arrived safely and none the worse for a couple of mile walk that only took us about 20 minutes. We did it again a few days ago with a very sunny day and it was a pleasure to see the autumn trees in such colour.
Only taken with my mobile I'm afraid so sorry about the quality.
A letter from America
Now I suppose you are expecting me to bang on about the loss of Alistair Cook (I know some of you wont have a clue who he was) or about to launch into a debate about the meaning of the words in the song by the Proclaimers, Letter from America. Well no, I'm not! But I am going to tell you about my letter from the FBI. Let me quote some interesting parts of this rather long letter;-
Note: Disregard any email you get from any impostors or offices claiming to be in possession of your ATM card, you are hereby advice only to be in contact with Dr Patrick Hofer of the ATM card center who is the rightful person to deal with in regards to your payment and forward any emails you get from impostors to this office via the above fax number so we could act upon it immediately.
Finally, I think my last item on Letters etc is worthy of it's own special place so I will leave that for a later update of my Blog.
Here I list the three items in question, ready for this?
- Buxom Vixens sc
- bag pass like
- fbi let & george u/named
OK, I bet the CIA, MI5 [and six], the FBI and all the other agencies in the world would never get this list sorted out particularly as I wrote it and even I didn't know what I had meant in my mental state when ever it was I created this masterpiece of nonsense! After some deliberation I saw the light! I actually knew what is was I had meant and I had turned on the road to Damascus! I was not thinking about the darker regions of the internet or the local burlesque dancer or even an episode of kids TV from the 80's but the reference to the FBI got me back in touch with reality, well my reality that is. It all translated as the now obvious list below shows:-
- The Buena Vista Social Club
- Using our bus pass and taking a hike
- An FBI Letter and George;s letter unnamed
Buena Vista Social Club - Portsmouth Guildhall
We bought tickets for this event at what seemed like hugely inflated prices but in our view well worth the money and set off for the Guildhall in Portsmouth not really expecting to find the throngs that were descending on the venue to see this remarkable Cuban band.
However, all was not to be that easy as we had to estimate the duration of the concert and pay, on a Sunday, for the car park. This in itself would have been easy had the place been better lit, fewer people trying to pay by mobile phone and not knowing what the hell they were doing and the general chaos that was the act of parking ones car. Overcoming that and forking out £5 was achieved and we set off to take our seats in the stalls.
What a night we had of excellent music and singing from these legends of music. I particularly liked the gyrations of the buxom young singer who accompanied the band (there you see, I was close in my choice of notes!!)
Bus Pass
Last week we used our free bus passes for the first time up until when I had vowed that I would never need it, had no intention of using buses with all those old people or with all those kids and sick people. So I was wrong, OK??
We booked our car in for a repair which was in response to the vast array of warning light that lit up my dashboard on leaving the car park after our Buena Vista night. Normally on these visits to the garage we borrow the firms van and take it down to Petersfield where we leave it prominently advertising LMK Vehicle Service Centre. But on this occasion we decided that as a bus stopped right outside the Hampshire Hog pub just next to LMK we would take the bus and christen our passes.
Great, the bus turned up almost on time and we set off for the 10 minute trip into Petersfield on a bus entirely occupied by pensioners, my first "enemy". A good number seemed to be suffering from all sorts of coughs and colds and provided fuel for my other phobia, "sick people" all that was missing were children so I was OK there.
We had a pleasant few hours in town, bought a large sweeping broom, had a good lunch and set off back to the garage by bus once more. But this time we didn't know where the stop was for our garage. We soon discovered that we had to alight at the Queen Elizabeth Country Park and make our way to the opposite side of the A3 which of course comprises four lanes of very fast moving traffic and no foot bridge. After some animated debate about which direction to take once we had been tossed off the bus in the middle of no where we eventually agreed to take the road way from our destination (my brain was working overtime by now) and make our way under the A3 and then walk back on the opposite side of the road to the Hampshire Hog once more. After what seemed like an hour and 50 mile hike we had encountered some lovely countryside, a small deer bounding out of a hedge in front of us and close encounters with some very fast moving cars. But we arrived safely and none the worse for a couple of mile walk that only took us about 20 minutes. We did it again a few days ago with a very sunny day and it was a pleasure to see the autumn trees in such colour.
A letter from America
Now I suppose you are expecting me to bang on about the loss of Alistair Cook (I know some of you wont have a clue who he was) or about to launch into a debate about the meaning of the words in the song by the Proclaimers, Letter from America. Well no, I'm not! But I am going to tell you about my letter from the FBI. Let me quote some interesting parts of this rather long letter;-
Federal Bureau of Investigation
Counter-terrorism Division and Cyber Crime Division
J. Edgar. Hoover Building Washington DC
Counter-terrorism Division and Cyber Crime Division
J. Edgar. Hoover Building Washington DC
Attention Beneficiary,
Dear Mr Bond
Records show that you are among one of the individuals and organizations who are yet to receive their overdue payment from overseas which includes those of Lottery/Gambling, Contract and Inheritance. Through our Fraud Monitory Unit we have also noticed that over the past you have been transacting with some imposters and fraudsters who have been impersonating the likes of Prof. Soludo of the Central Bank Of Nigeria, Mr. Patrick Aziza, Frank, Anderson, none officials of Oceanic Bank, Zenith Banks, Kelvin Young of HSBC, Ben of FedEx, Ibrahim Sule, Dr. Usman Shamsuddeen and some imposters claiming to be The Federal Bureau of Investigation. THEY ACTUALLY POINT A FINGER AT OUR OLD PALS IN NIGERIA!
We have negotiated with the Federal Ministry of Finance that your payment totaling $6,100,000.00 be released to you via a custom pin based ATM card with a maximum withdrawal limit of $5,000 a day which is powered by Visa Card and can be used anywhere in the world were you see a Visa Card Logo on the Automatic Teller Machine (ATM). We have advised that this should be the only way at which you are to receive your payment because it’s more guaranteed, since over $5 billion was lost on fake check year 2008.
To redeem your fund you are hereby advised to contact the ATM Card Center via email for their requirement to proceed and procure your Approval of Payment Warrant and Endorsement of your ATM Release Order on your behalf which will cost you $110 only nothing more and no hidden fees as everything else has been taken cared of by the Federal Government including taxes, custom paper and clearance duty so all you will ever need to pay is $110only.
Contact Information
Name: Dr Andrew Hall
Phone: +234 -12132294 or 011234 -12132294
Email: andrew_hall@yahoo.cn
THEN THERE WAS ALL THE USUAL STUFF TRYING TO COLLECT MY BANK DETAILS AND ANY OTHER PERSONAL INFORMATION (Which of course I sent them !!! ) Name: Dr Andrew Hall
Phone: +234 -12132294 or 011234 -12132294
Email: andrew_hall@yahoo.cn
After which the delivery of your ATM card will be effected to your designated home address without any further delay, extra fee or any authority raising eyebrow. PRICELESS BIT THIS!!!
I QUITE LIKE THIS LITTLE TOUCH: Once again we are so sure of you receiving your payment at no any other cost as we have taking it upon our duty to monitor everything in other to cub cyber crime that is perpetrated by those impostors.
Thanks and hope to read from you soon.
ROBERT S. MUELLER,
DIRECTOR
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
UNITED STATES DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE
WASHINGTON, D.C. 20535
TELEPHONE: 206-666-5283
FAX: 206-666-5283
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
UNITED STATES DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE
WASHINGTON, D.C. 20535
TELEPHONE: 206-666-5283
FAX: 206-666-5283
I LOVED THIS THAT I HAVE MARKED IN RED
Note: Disregard any email you get from any impostors or offices claiming to be in possession of your ATM card, you are hereby advice only to be in contact with Dr Patrick Hofer of the ATM card center who is the rightful person to deal with in regards to your payment and forward any emails you get from impostors to this office via the above fax number so we could act upon it immediately.
Help stop cyber crime.
I have nothing more to add about this little scam other than to say that their English seems to have improved very slightly!!! Finally, I think my last item on Letters etc is worthy of it's own special place so I will leave that for a later update of my Blog.
Friday, 30 October 2009
Should I buy a lottery ticket?
Yesterday I decided to join the local library as my reading has become so much part of my free time now I would need a loan from the World Bank, the IMF and the European Emergency Fund to sustain my purchases of books. I resist seeking a Government Loan or any thoughts of going begging bowl to the Bank Of England for any "quantitative easing" as we are clearly nearly as broke as Iceland at present.
So, it was off to the Library instead. What a simple few steps it was in that all they wanted was two items of identification, a sample f blood, a sample of DNA and my shoe size. Sorry I grossly exaggerate here and I apologise unreservedly for my crass remarks. The joining process was in reality truly simple with only the two items of identification necessary.
Armed with my new library card, I can now borrow books from any library in West Sussex and return my books to any other library in West Sussex also. My joke to the young lady that I thought this a great idea now that I could take out a book in Chichester and take it back to Horsham, just for the walk went down like a lead balloon. I am no Jack Dee it would seem so I will leave my "stand up" routine at home from now on as I should have learned some time ago that these throw away "jokes" do not always work. Take for example my attempt to buy a new refill for my Cross rolling ball pen. I went in to the branch of Sussex Stationers in Chichester and asked, "could I have a cross refill please, rather than an angry one". There followed one of those tumble-weed moments as the assistant simple gazed through or over the top of my head. My joke and I had died on our feet. However, she was unable to offer me the refill she said as she only had "Rolling" refills not "Cross" - I gave up and went to Smiths!
Anyway, back to the Lottery or was it the Library? OK, I have joined the library and picked up my colourful glossy leaflets telling me about fines, DVD rental and all the other stuff that you can get or do at the library and as I walked across the road reading there was a loud SPLAT!! I found my leaflets and my hand covered in a large reddish, very wet and sticky bird dropping, right slap bag in the middle of my leaflet.
Well here we are back at where I started. Should I buy that lottery ticket then?
So, it was off to the Library instead. What a simple few steps it was in that all they wanted was two items of identification, a sample f blood, a sample of DNA and my shoe size. Sorry I grossly exaggerate here and I apologise unreservedly for my crass remarks. The joining process was in reality truly simple with only the two items of identification necessary.
Armed with my new library card, I can now borrow books from any library in West Sussex and return my books to any other library in West Sussex also. My joke to the young lady that I thought this a great idea now that I could take out a book in Chichester and take it back to Horsham, just for the walk went down like a lead balloon. I am no Jack Dee it would seem so I will leave my "stand up" routine at home from now on as I should have learned some time ago that these throw away "jokes" do not always work. Take for example my attempt to buy a new refill for my Cross rolling ball pen. I went in to the branch of Sussex Stationers in Chichester and asked, "could I have a cross refill please, rather than an angry one". There followed one of those tumble-weed moments as the assistant simple gazed through or over the top of my head. My joke and I had died on our feet. However, she was unable to offer me the refill she said as she only had "Rolling" refills not "Cross" - I gave up and went to Smiths!
Anyway, back to the Lottery or was it the Library? OK, I have joined the library and picked up my colourful glossy leaflets telling me about fines, DVD rental and all the other stuff that you can get or do at the library and as I walked across the road reading there was a loud SPLAT!! I found my leaflets and my hand covered in a large reddish, very wet and sticky bird dropping, right slap bag in the middle of my leaflet.
Well here we are back at where I started. Should I buy that lottery ticket then?
Wednesday, 28 October 2009
Africa Today - Chad
I just thought that given that a friend of mine seems intent upon me gaining a readership in Chad I thought I would look up some information on this small central African country. Wikipedia describes it as follows:
Chad, officially known as the Republic of Chad, is a landlocked country in central Africa . It is bordered by Libya to the north,Sudan to the east, the Central African Republic to the south,
Cameroon and Nigeria to the southwest, and Niger to the west. Due to its distance from the sea and its largely desert climate, the country is sometimes referred to as the "Dead Heart of Africa".
As the spoken language of the country will be Arabic, French and all other local dialects I don't for one moment anyone will read my Blog or indeed my eBook.... Oh, yes my Book.
Ready for this.....................................Hot off the press!
Chad, officially known as the Republic of Chad, is a landlocked country in central Africa . It is bordered by Libya to the north,Sudan to the east, the Central African Republic to the south,
Cameroon and Nigeria to the southwest, and Niger to the west. Due to its distance from the sea and its largely desert climate, the country is sometimes referred to as the "Dead Heart of Africa".
As the spoken language of the country will be Arabic, French and all other local dialects I don't for one moment anyone will read my Blog or indeed my eBook.... Oh, yes my Book.
Ready for this.....................................Hot off the press!
| Your myebook |
| An Uneventful Soldier - Revision2 |
| has been read 10000 times |
Normal service will be resumed later this week!!
Monday, 26 October 2009
Plano, Texas
I have noticed that I have a Visitor from Plano ( a "northern suburb of Dallas") and this prompted me to take a closer look at who has visited my Blog a few times now and I have to say that looking at the photograph of the place it does look quite nice, but looks can be deceiving can they not?
Haggard Park Downtown Plano
Haggard Park Downtown PlanoReading the Wikipedia entry on Plano I find that it has a population of some 265,000 or about a third the size of West Sussex as a whole whilst here in Chichester the City population is a mere 23,000 or so.
The Cross - Chichester
Two very dissimilar places one very much part of a major US City and the other the County Town of West Sussex with it's Cathedral that was founded in 1075 (making 935 years old!!) - Chichester was a major "Market Town" for many years as well as home to the Roman Legions until the fall of the Empire.
So, whoever you are in Plano, share some interests with me please as it's good to see someone from so far afield taking an interest in my Blog.
So, whoever you are in Plano, share some interests with me please as it's good to see someone from so far afield taking an interest in my Blog.
New Neighbours
We have now lived here in our new house for nearly eight months and so far we have had no trouble whatsoever with the neighbours, except perhaps for the only very slightly irritating behaviour of girls in three student houses. Having said that though it was only poor parking and a couple of occurrences of leaving rubbish bins in the wrong place, all very minor and now not a problem.
So, having settled down to quite rural tranquillity I was shaken out of my peaceful slumbers at around 2am by a terrible row outside the house. By the time I had struggled out of bed and got to a window to investigate, without waking my slumbering partner [her wrath is legendary] I was unable to spot the rowdy villains so crept back into bed. By this time however I was suffering badly with a painful shoulder and wasn't able to get back to sleep readily so when the commotion started again outside I was able to get downstairs and get to the door before the row had stopped.
Wrenching the door open ready to demand a quite night, having not fully recovered yet from the change from British Summer Time to GMT, I was confronted by the noisy pair as they fled across the green in front of the house. The smaller member of the noisy duo was just dashing up to and past a nearby car pursued by her much larger male friend into the area in front of another terrace of houses where their noisy row started over again and as lights started to switch on in the distance I decided that bed was becoming and it was time to ignore these irritating neighbours and get some sleep.
However, I did manage to get a photograph of the pair and will be seeking an ASBO if they play up again outside our house!
Photo courtesy of : moonlightblue.co.uk
So, having settled down to quite rural tranquillity I was shaken out of my peaceful slumbers at around 2am by a terrible row outside the house. By the time I had struggled out of bed and got to a window to investigate, without waking my slumbering partner [her wrath is legendary] I was unable to spot the rowdy villains so crept back into bed. By this time however I was suffering badly with a painful shoulder and wasn't able to get back to sleep readily so when the commotion started again outside I was able to get downstairs and get to the door before the row had stopped.
Wrenching the door open ready to demand a quite night, having not fully recovered yet from the change from British Summer Time to GMT, I was confronted by the noisy pair as they fled across the green in front of the house. The smaller member of the noisy duo was just dashing up to and past a nearby car pursued by her much larger male friend into the area in front of another terrace of houses where their noisy row started over again and as lights started to switch on in the distance I decided that bed was becoming and it was time to ignore these irritating neighbours and get some sleep.
However, I did manage to get a photograph of the pair and will be seeking an ASBO if they play up again outside our house!
Photo courtesy of : moonlightblue.co.ukSaturday, 24 October 2009
Lance Corporal Joe Glenton - Royal Logistics Corps
I have been reading about this young man who has aligned himself with the Stop the War Coalition and have been unable to find the words to express my disgust and dismay at his behaviour. Then I found this "Open Letter" on the Army Rumour Service Forum which I think perfectly sums up my feelings as an ex-soldier as well as the many other soldiers still serving who have to see this man parading about as some sort of celebrity while his comrades [He wishes!] are being killed and terribly wounded.
With thanks to "Wedge35" aka Danny Considine on the Army Rumour Service I found this to be an excellent form of words to this waste of space who still dares call himself a Soldier. Wedge35, over to you!
Dear Joe,
As you are a Lance Corporal in the Royal Logistic Corps and I was Sapper in the Royal Engineers, I thought I would write to you, junior soldier to junior soldier and let you know my thoughts on the actions you are currently taking. I have no idea why you originally decided to go AWOL from the army but I went AWOL once as well – for no particularly dramatic reason – and, like you, I have also deployed on operations (in my case, to Bosnia and Iraq). I like to think that I am reasonably well informed and as you are obviously an intelligent man, I hope that you will listen to what I have to say with an open mind.
You have said on many occasions that the war in Afghanistan is illegal, and some of the people you have chosen to side with on this issue have supported and applauded your stance, whilst likening the arguments of those members of the armed forces who have concerns about the campaign in Afghanistan but who continue to serve to the infamous Nuremburg Defence – ‘I was only following orders’. This issue is worth examining in some detail as it highlights a number of points that I believe fatally weaken the position that you have taken.
All soldiers are bound by the Law of Armed Conflict and, as you will know, all members of the British armed forces receive training in this area, both during normal annual training and immediately prior to an operational deployment. As junior soldiers, we have a clear obligation to refuse to carry out illegal orders, be they those that may break the Geneva Convention or those that conflict with theatre-specific rules of engagement. Professional soldiers have both a moral and legal responsibility to recognise when an order is illegal and an absolute obligation to refuse such orders; no one in the armed forces from the Chief of the General Staff to the most junior teenage Private could argue against that point and, indeed, all share a responsibility to be familiar with the Law of Armed Conflict as in applies ‘on the ground’. However, as ordinary soldiers, our competence in the matter only goes so far.
As far as questions of the legality of any particular conflict are concerned, we must rely on the decisions of those who are qualified to judge, meaning the legal establishment headed by the Attorney General and the democratically-elected Government of the day. To take an example from the ‘Nuremburg era’, individual junior soldiers and officers cannot be held accountable for joining the German army or for their Government’s decision to invade the Soviet Union. That was – as the army saying has it – far above their pay scale. However, if that soldier, whilst taking part in Operation Barbarossa, obeyed an order to shoot a Soviet civilian, he would make himself a war criminal, entirely responsible for his actions. The distinction between the two is clear.
This leads us on, Joe, to personal conscience and how that applies to us as junior soldiers. Whatever those that you currently choose to associate with may tell you, we live in a democratic country and, furthermore, one that does not practice conscription. Everyone who serves in the armed forces does so on a voluntary basis, without compulsion, and with a clear understanding of what they signed-up for. I did, you did and the nine thousand British troops currently in Afghanistan did as well. Anyone who decides that they disagree with the direction the country’s foreign policy is taking or, in light of their personal experiences decides that they no longer wish to be part of the profession of arms, can give one year’s notice and leave. They do not, however, gain the right to pick and choose which operations they deploy on whilst still serving – and for a very good reason. A military coup is unimaginable in Britain precisely because the army does not question its orders except at a level where people are qualified to do so. Your friends in the Stop the War movement would do well to think about where having an army of free-thinkers could lead – there would be some soldiers like yourself who’s views they would applaud to the rooftops but plenty of others who would enjoy nothing so much as to put them on the point of a bayonet. Societies with such armies do exist but thankfully Britain is not one of them. Were every soldier to follow your example, however, it would swiftly become one and under such circumstances we could all kiss our freedom goodbye. Be careful what you wish for.
Finally, Joe, let us forget for a moment that you are a serving soldier and treat your case as simply that of a citizen exercising his freedom of conscience and freedom of speech. Take a look, if you would, at some of the people that are currently shouting themselves hoarse in support of your stance. Whilst there are many good and sincere people in the Stop the War movement, there are also those who represent the left-wing equivalent of the British National Party; tendencies, factions and Parties who would soak the country in blood as surely as would any fascist party, were they to gain power. How much freedom of conscience or freedom of speech do you think the Socialist Worker’s Party would be willing to grant you on any issue where you find yourself at odds with their point of view? In choosing to align yourself with such people for short term exposure, you have sided with the kind of totalitarian militant who uses peace as the basis of glib placard slogan and as a means to an end that I would hope you do not share. What do you imagine the fate of a Cuban soldier would be, were he to do what you have done?
Joe, by your recent actions you have crossed from fulfilling your own moral code to giving comfort and succour to the enemy. You have gone from being someone that I could not agree with but certainly sympathise with, to someone who has betrayed his former colleagues, some of whom share your doubts and many of whom are currently numb with fear in the place you refused to go. Stop whilst you can. I share your liberal mind-set in many ways and, having witnessed the results of war at first hand, share your disgust at what conflict can mean in reality. But despite what those around you may say, you are not a hero. You are close to becoming a traitor – not to any abstract notion like the State, but to those who wear the same uniform as you and who you claim to care about.
Joe, not in my name.
Yours,
Danny Considine
With thanks to "Wedge35" aka Danny Considine on the Army Rumour Service I found this to be an excellent form of words to this waste of space who still dares call himself a Soldier. Wedge35, over to you!
Dear Joe,
As you are a Lance Corporal in the Royal Logistic Corps and I was Sapper in the Royal Engineers, I thought I would write to you, junior soldier to junior soldier and let you know my thoughts on the actions you are currently taking. I have no idea why you originally decided to go AWOL from the army but I went AWOL once as well – for no particularly dramatic reason – and, like you, I have also deployed on operations (in my case, to Bosnia and Iraq). I like to think that I am reasonably well informed and as you are obviously an intelligent man, I hope that you will listen to what I have to say with an open mind.
You have said on many occasions that the war in Afghanistan is illegal, and some of the people you have chosen to side with on this issue have supported and applauded your stance, whilst likening the arguments of those members of the armed forces who have concerns about the campaign in Afghanistan but who continue to serve to the infamous Nuremburg Defence – ‘I was only following orders’. This issue is worth examining in some detail as it highlights a number of points that I believe fatally weaken the position that you have taken.
All soldiers are bound by the Law of Armed Conflict and, as you will know, all members of the British armed forces receive training in this area, both during normal annual training and immediately prior to an operational deployment. As junior soldiers, we have a clear obligation to refuse to carry out illegal orders, be they those that may break the Geneva Convention or those that conflict with theatre-specific rules of engagement. Professional soldiers have both a moral and legal responsibility to recognise when an order is illegal and an absolute obligation to refuse such orders; no one in the armed forces from the Chief of the General Staff to the most junior teenage Private could argue against that point and, indeed, all share a responsibility to be familiar with the Law of Armed Conflict as in applies ‘on the ground’. However, as ordinary soldiers, our competence in the matter only goes so far.
As far as questions of the legality of any particular conflict are concerned, we must rely on the decisions of those who are qualified to judge, meaning the legal establishment headed by the Attorney General and the democratically-elected Government of the day. To take an example from the ‘Nuremburg era’, individual junior soldiers and officers cannot be held accountable for joining the German army or for their Government’s decision to invade the Soviet Union. That was – as the army saying has it – far above their pay scale. However, if that soldier, whilst taking part in Operation Barbarossa, obeyed an order to shoot a Soviet civilian, he would make himself a war criminal, entirely responsible for his actions. The distinction between the two is clear.
This leads us on, Joe, to personal conscience and how that applies to us as junior soldiers. Whatever those that you currently choose to associate with may tell you, we live in a democratic country and, furthermore, one that does not practice conscription. Everyone who serves in the armed forces does so on a voluntary basis, without compulsion, and with a clear understanding of what they signed-up for. I did, you did and the nine thousand British troops currently in Afghanistan did as well. Anyone who decides that they disagree with the direction the country’s foreign policy is taking or, in light of their personal experiences decides that they no longer wish to be part of the profession of arms, can give one year’s notice and leave. They do not, however, gain the right to pick and choose which operations they deploy on whilst still serving – and for a very good reason. A military coup is unimaginable in Britain precisely because the army does not question its orders except at a level where people are qualified to do so. Your friends in the Stop the War movement would do well to think about where having an army of free-thinkers could lead – there would be some soldiers like yourself who’s views they would applaud to the rooftops but plenty of others who would enjoy nothing so much as to put them on the point of a bayonet. Societies with such armies do exist but thankfully Britain is not one of them. Were every soldier to follow your example, however, it would swiftly become one and under such circumstances we could all kiss our freedom goodbye. Be careful what you wish for.
Finally, Joe, let us forget for a moment that you are a serving soldier and treat your case as simply that of a citizen exercising his freedom of conscience and freedom of speech. Take a look, if you would, at some of the people that are currently shouting themselves hoarse in support of your stance. Whilst there are many good and sincere people in the Stop the War movement, there are also those who represent the left-wing equivalent of the British National Party; tendencies, factions and Parties who would soak the country in blood as surely as would any fascist party, were they to gain power. How much freedom of conscience or freedom of speech do you think the Socialist Worker’s Party would be willing to grant you on any issue where you find yourself at odds with their point of view? In choosing to align yourself with such people for short term exposure, you have sided with the kind of totalitarian militant who uses peace as the basis of glib placard slogan and as a means to an end that I would hope you do not share. What do you imagine the fate of a Cuban soldier would be, were he to do what you have done?
Joe, by your recent actions you have crossed from fulfilling your own moral code to giving comfort and succour to the enemy. You have gone from being someone that I could not agree with but certainly sympathise with, to someone who has betrayed his former colleagues, some of whom share your doubts and many of whom are currently numb with fear in the place you refused to go. Stop whilst you can. I share your liberal mind-set in many ways and, having witnessed the results of war at first hand, share your disgust at what conflict can mean in reality. But despite what those around you may say, you are not a hero. You are close to becoming a traitor – not to any abstract notion like the State, but to those who wear the same uniform as you and who you claim to care about.
Joe, not in my name.
Yours,
Danny Considine
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